on 101th day

We koreans do like pausing for pictures and like keeping them

for memory. I couldn't resist having izzy's picture taken during my stay in Korea. I hope she loves them when she see them in the future.

Izzy has started to suck her thumb since week10. The strange thing is that she does not suck it when I hold her but when she is put down somewhere she sucks let alone her thumb, her fist. I am a bit distressed by it as she is my first child and I don't want her to do it if this is as others say, because she is stressed and tries to calm her down. I wonder what is going through my little one's mind when she feels like sucking it... -.-

federer's match point shot against Djokovic

http://www.usopen.org/en_US/news/match_reports/2009-09-13/200909131252892412687.html

I do not know what to do when she stares at me like this

what trauma?

27.07.2009 Monday 11:32 am
Our baby girl has been with us for a full week and approx 14hrs now. I am not articulate enough to express what an amazing feeling it is to hold my own baby in my arms. Things that I worried and thought important in the past have been somewhat meaningless compared to this little one’s life that was made by half of me and half of matt. I could not have agreed more with mums about this special feeling that you go to hospital as a couple and come back as a family.

Last week has been tough but manageable thanks to matthew's support. I can not imagine women going through this dramatic experience without their men's support and love. To me without him I don't think I would have come out as one piece and write a blog like now.

Every woman who went through labour has something to tell just like men who went to army or a war. Their stories are almost like listening to the story of medieval knights going through series of perils to get the Holy Grail. Believe or not, what hesitated me the most about having a baby was facing the fear/pain of labour. I was putting that thought off as long as possible when the waters broke 3 weeks earlier. The next thing I know was that I had to go into labour within 24hrs one way or another. Oh **it! At this point my bookmark in the pregnancy guide book remained in the first page in labour chapter and there were 2 more weeks left to work in the company.


18.07.2009 8:30am
I thought to myself that my bladder has been weak but never been this bad. I should have been doing pelvic muscle exercises and etc etc…. After 30 minutes inconvenience in the bathroom I was nervous to find out if my suspicion of this incident is correct
For some reason I always thought I might be somewhat different slash unique from any other human beings. If something is going to happen to one person in millions good or bad, it will be me. What a self centered thought it was! To my disbelief, my pregnancy has been like a text book without painful side effects such as morning sickness, overwhelming tiredness, uncontrollable backache and etc
My body followed the pattern that the book predicted each week so it was a bit of shock to me when I found out this inconvenient event meant baby was expected to be delivered 3 weeks early! The following morning when I left for the hospital I had to say I felt slightly grumpy by watching matt getting all excited to have a baby in his arms. Man!

19.07.2009 12:00pm
One hour after the drug was induced I couldn’t sit down as my bum cheeks were,, well, I am sorry for the expression, just about to rip open and this also accompanied period pain in my belly. Matt and I timed it and it came about 20secs 3-minute interval. This went on for about 3hours. At this point, matt was heavily engaged in his new game on his Ipod and I was catching up with Saturday daily telegraph and we even went to canteen to get some lunch. Sunday in hospital was quiet and labour rooms were empty so we were able to check out a birth pool, balls, aroma therapy kit and so on.
For baby to get through the birth channel successfully women’s vagina has to be dilated up to 10cm and this happens when labour is in progress. I have not made up my mind on pain relief although I definitely didn’t want epidural due to the possible risk of permanent damage on spinal cord. My sister went without using any drug and a lot of women all over the world do that too. My thought on this was to find out how bad it can go before I rely on drug as using drugs can affect a baby one way or other. When one of midwives came in and told me she agreed on my birth plan showing I want to do everything naturally although this comment to me for some reason sounded like she was telling me she won’t redeem me from painful situation by giving me any pain relief. Later she came back to us and told us the examination will take place at 7:30pm instead of 4:30pm and also there was a discussion about change of the room for some reason but midwife told us to stay where we are as we might scare other people off. At around 7:00pm midwife announced that I am allowed to go to the birth pool as it was now 7cm dilated and I was somewhat excited by the encouragement came from the midwife and expectation of meeting our baby daughter.
Water was not as warm as I expected it to be but it was nevertheless soothing. Contraction was coming so regularly I did not have time to rest in between and cling on to matthew’s massage. I wanted him to rub my lower back hard enough in the hope that it counterbalanced contraction somehow and he managed to pull it off. Bless him. I would not be in doubt as its result if he told me that his finger prints have disappeared now.
At 8:30pm I was in agony in the pool when I felt finally I want to push. For the whole time my eyes were firmly shut with a grimace on my face but I was conscious enough to recognize it is nearly end of the journey. Matthew was saying he can see something so I put my finger in and I can feel her skin only 1cm away from coming out. I couldn’t believe how happy I felt at that moment. Midwife tilted the lamp towards water and told me to sit front so that she can see. I pushed and pushed. I felt something is just about to rip open if I push it any harder. I was scared then. But next thing I know was that Matthew was telling me to get out of the pool immediately. I heard the word “breech baby”. Feeling mild disappointment I climbed on the bed as soon as quickly before the next contraction wondering what would happen next. Within 5minutes approx 15 people with all different coloured gowns on flooded in the room. One familiar face told me to breathe through the nose when I felt like pushing again. I heard “we don’t have much time….” “otherwise we have to do general anesthetic…” “you have two choices…” After a few spinal block injections the lower part of my body was going numb and my pain became distant memory.

9:06pm Two things I remember
tiny moan from Isobel when she was pulled out of my opened body.
silent tears running through from Matthew’s eyes

Finally we created the first chapter of our family.

This is the view from our bedroom window. As you can see there is well maintained green field along with footpath and benches where one can sit down and relax reading a book or listening to birds. I would say this adds quality to suburban life where you can find your breathing space after hectic work.
However somebody has to spoil this beautiful spot by abandoning supermarket trolley. To be honest, I am afraid to say this is not unusual in England. You can see people who do not have a car to fetch their shopping items push supermarket trolley all the way home for their comfort and then abandon it in public place. What a shame.

One fine morning of June

Three of us were in wimbledon soaking up the atmosphere of Grand Slam 2009

And three of us now got the beach towels with wimbledon 2009 written on.

Venus Williams, Andy Roddick, Fernando Gonzalez,, they are the big names who played in Court 1 which we fortunately had tickets for. It was somewhat different to watch them playing live as tennis ball was moving pretty faster to either side of the court than I thought it would be when I watched them on TV. I always thought women's games would not look as powerful but I guess I was wrong. Venus' ball was flying over the net just as fast as those of male players.

I could see lots of spectators from canada, australia and they came to see this tournament paying obscene amount of money or queueing from the night before the gate is open. It was very fortunate that I got the tickets through public ballot and casually drove down to town to watch matches.

Rules are still confusing, no idea what order players swap the side they play nevertheless it was a memorable day of our trip and we enjoyed ourselves very much.

Thanks to our friends Evan and Marrion who live in Machester, we were able to go to the lake district and back within a day. Omnimous weatherforcast dampened matthew's spirit at first but soon enough he turned into a happy boy wondering in the countryside. It has been my and marrion's misson to drag two canadian men into joy of walking in English countryside and it seems that they made a histric move today.

Glasmere, small town which is famous for 19th century poet wordsworth and his poet circle. We visited his grave, dove cottage where he lived, the garden where he wrote the famous poem daffodils from, walked around the lake in front of the cottage and had good food before heading back to Manchester. The lake was surrounded by moutainous hills and made secluded settings at all angles. There were a few camps set up near pebble beach where we walked around and the water,,, wow it was so transparent that you could see your own reflection on it. There were also a few victorian houses at the foot of the hills looking over the lake and women in their 30s perhaps from the houses were walking their dogs through the woods. How serenic can it be?

As much as I envy their lifestyle, I wondered if I could live there. Born and bred in the bustling city I probably won't be able to do as a permanent resident but surely I would spend my summer time there reading and enjoying nature. oh yes..

Despite my sister's plea, I went ahead and bought 70 odd pounds worth of real nappies. These real nappies are said to take our izzy through to potty training providing I have 3 day worth of reserved nappies ready at all times (they meant at least 24 nappies). One of valuable advices my sis gave me is to buy unbleached cotton for any baby fabric but again, being myself I had to buy fancy and colourful nappies like blueberry, butter yellow and lime colour. Matthew wanted to buy her Jack Skelton nappy but I thought that IS taking it too far.

One of real nappy websites was run by a mother of 5 and the stuff were all hand-made. And the concept was fascinating. I am telling you there is a niche market for this kind of stuff and I think it is something I can look into for future career. Matthew dampened my spirit right away by saying I wanted to run a tea and cake shop but didn't go any further with it so what this nappy business going to make any difference. Well, first of all, I had to admit I am pretty bad at baking therefore that ambitious concept was end of story right there. The bottom line is running business with something creative, unique and things I enjoy doing. I still think it is viable.

Finally BSI informed that I have passed the exam I sat last month.
Thank goodness for that!
I couldn't resist asking what marks I had though.
62marks!
This answer lead me to ask another question which is..
What is the lowest mark that one can pass with?
57marks.
A few seconds of silence on both ends of telephone line..
Oh,, I wasn't that good then,,
Don't worry, we hardly ever give candidates over 70marks anyway..
Alright!
Last remark cheered me up a bit.

ISO 9001 IRCA registered auditor...

This sounds cool!